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Bitterness and some updates
I haven't written in a while. I just feel like a lot of what I wrote is griping and I don't want to sound super negative all the time. Anyways...Haleigh turned one on December 4! She has had two smash cakes and will have one more when we visit her grandparents for Christmas. Our families …
Long Journey
We cancelled our cable a couple months ago because they raised our rates again and just recently we got Hulu. We were catching up on "The Good Doctor" which is one of my favorite shows. In season 2 episode 1 a character named Dr. Glassman is undergoing a whole bunch of testing for his brain …
Aching heart
My heart hurts today. Two years ago today our nightmare began and Hannah died. I have so many regrets from that day and the weekend before it. I just miss her so bad. I feel so much guilt and it catches me off guard and makes my heart heavy.
Happy Birthday
Happy Birthday sweet baby girl. I love you so much Hannah Banana.
Heavy Heart
With Hannah's second birthday rapidly approaching I find that my heart has been heavier than usual. I just miss her so much. I should have an almost two year old. TWO! In the early days of grief I read that moms and dad's process differently (duh). Whatever I read said that a lot of moms …
Anxiety
I had anxiety before losing Hannah and it became worse after she died and then even worse after Haleigh was born. I was diagnosed with postpartum anxiety and was prescribed Zoloft which has helped significantly. However, when something goes wrong those anxious feelings come flooding in again. Today I took Haleigh for a weight check …
Jumbled thoughts
I haven't felt Hannah's presence in quite a while. It makes me sad. My mom found a hummingbird shirt and my dad saw a hummingbird but I've not had any signs. I miss her signs to me. We are on vacation and Haleigh has been great the whole week. Last night she had a really …
Grief, my old friend.
As I mentioned in a previous post, I have been ignoring my grief for months and it is catching up with me. I have made a conscious decision to spend time with my grief more frequently. I'm honestly not quite sure what this means yet but I think it's important. It may just be taking …
Dear Hannah
Dear Hannah,I've been missing you so much lately. I hope you know that I haven't forgotten, I will never forget. Your little sister keeps me busy but I always envision what should have been. There should be two little blond girls playing. Haleigh should be watching you from my hip while I chase you around …
Ramblings
I'm so sorry. I know I've posted like 3 things in the last day. It's just that now that I've started writing again it feels so good. So here we are.Today we had a church function for the Fourth of July. We went because I stay home with Haleigh and like to get out every …
Finding Hannah Rae 